The Night the Pets Come Home
Every October, marigolds start showing up in the markets around the lake. Bright orange, a little wild, and impossible to miss. For many Mexican families, those flowers are about to do an important job. They mark the path home for the loved ones who have died. And in more and more homes, that path is laid first for the animals.
10/23/20264 min read
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Every October, marigolds start showing up in the markets around the lake. Bright orange, a little wild, and impossible to miss.
For many Mexican families, those flowers are about to do an important job. They mark the path home for the loved ones who have died.
And in more and more homes, that path is laid first for the animals.
A Day Just for Them
Most of us know Día de los Muertos as November 1 and 2, the days families welcome back the people they have lost.
But in many Mexican households, the season begins a few days earlier. October 27 has become the day to remember pets.
The tradition says that on that night, the spirits of beloved dogs, cats, and other companions return home for a few hours. They stay until the early morning of the 28th.
Families prepare a small altar, called an ofrenda, to welcome them. It usually holds a photo, a favorite toy or collar, a little bowl of food, fresh water for the long journey, a candle, and marigold petals to light the way.
It is not an official holiday. It is something more personal than that. It grew because families wanted their animals included in the remembering, because the animals were family.
An Ancient Friendship
The bond between people and dogs in Mexico goes back thousands of years.
The Xoloitzcuintle, the hairless dog many of us see around Lakeside, was believed to guide souls on their journey through Mictlán, the land of the dead. According to legend, the Xolo helped travelers across a great river on the way.
One version of the story adds a detail worth remembering. A dog could refuse to carry someone who had been cruel to dogs in life.
That is an old way of saying something many of us already believe. How we treat animals says something about who we are.
A Simple Way to Honor a Pet This Year
You do not need to be Mexican, or even have a full altar, to take part in the spirit of this day.
Set out a photo of a pet you have lost. Add a candle or a few marigolds. Say their name out loud.
It is a small act. It can also be a surprisingly healing one.
Grief That Deserves Room
If you have ever lost a pet, you know the quiet that follows. The empty spot by the door. The habit of reaching for a leash that is no longer there.
Sometimes well-meaning people say, “It was just a dog.” It never is.
The American Veterinary Medical Association is clear on this. Grief for a pet is real, it does not follow neat stages, and it should not be ranked against anyone else’s loss. Your grief is your grief.
Best Friends Animal Society adds something many of us learn the hard way. There is no expiration date on missing them. The sadness may soften, but the love stays.
Maybe that is why Día de los Muertos speaks to so many people, whatever their background. It does not ask you to move on. It invites you to remember, out loud, with color and candles and food.
Why Keeping the Bond Matters
For the families the Pet Food Bank serves, loss can look different.
When money runs short, some families face a choice no one should have to make. Feed the family, or feed the dog. Keep the cat, or give her up.
Losing a pet that way is its own kind of grief. The animal is still out there somewhere, just no longer home.
This is the quiet heart of what your support does. It keeps dogs and cats in the homes that love them. It lets children grow up alongside their animals. It means that when a family does eventually say goodbye, it is at the end of a long life together, not because the food ran out.
Every bag of food is, in a very real way, more time together.
Keeping Living Pets Safe Around the Ofrenda
If you set up an altar this season, remember that your current pets will be very interested in it.
Place candles well out of reach of wagging tails and curious paws. A knocked-over candle near paper decorations can start a fire quickly.
Keep chocolate, pan de muerto, and other sweets on a high shelf. Chocolate is toxic to dogs and cats.
If your ofrenda includes tequila, mezcal, or other drinks, keep them where pets cannot reach. Alcohol is dangerous for animals even in small amounts.
Put the water for the spirits somewhere different from your pets’ water bowl, and keep the flower arrangements up high. Pets tend to chew what they can reach.
A few small adjustments let everyone enjoy the season safely, the pets who are visiting and the ones who live with you.
A Closing Thought
This month, when you see the marigolds, think of the animals who shaped your life. And think, too, of the families around the lake working hard to keep their pets fed and at home.
Remembering and caring for the living are two sides of the same love.
LINKS AND CITATIONS
American Veterinary Medical Association, Coping with the loss of a pet
https://www.avma.org/resources-tools/pet-owners/petcare/coping-loss-pet
Best Friends Animal Society, Grieving Pet Loss Over Time
https://bestfriends.org/pet-care-resources/grieving-pet-loss-over-time
Best Friends Animal Society, Pet Loss Grief Resources
https://bestfriends.org/pet-care-resources/grieving-loss-pet-resources-coping
AKC Museum of the Dog, Xoloitzcuintle
https://museumofthedog.org/xoloitzcuintle/
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